HRMs

I have a dilemma. One of many in my life, but for now, I'll just concentrate on this one.

I really want to get a heart rate monitor. I have no idea how many calories I burn in my workouts, because I don't program my treadmill with my weight, etc. The fact that I am too lazy to program the machine in which I walk/run on for an hour everyday is something that should probably bother me, but doesn’t.

Anyhow, I just think a HRM would be a more accurate way to go, and I want to get as much credit for calories burned as possible. I have researched many different kinds, and even thought about getting a Nike+ because my shoes are Nikes, and have the little pouch or whatever you need.

That being said, I'm not sure if a HRM would be a healthy thing for me or not. I am, by nature, an all or nothing person. All. Or. Nothing. If I am off-plan with my eating, I am eating everything in site. If I'm on plan, I stick to 1100 calories a day and burn probably 600 a day. I am either really good or really, really bad. I realize that this is something that I need to work on, and not just say screw it for the day if I have a cheeseburger at lunch. This weight loss journey is all about moderation and a healthy approach to food. And despite a 60 lb. loss, I still don't think I have conquered that battle. I just managed to be good long enough to lose 60 lbs. I still have an unhealthy relationship with food, in that I put too much reliance on it and sometimes see food as the answer to all my problems. (Which it is so clearly NOT.)

My point to all this is that I am scared the HRM will make me crazy. Part of me thinks that I should stick to what I know works - working out for an hour a day, and keeping my calories in check. I know this works for me and is a healthy way. If I stick to this, I won’t get caught up on so many of the minutia details. I don't want the HRM to cause me to become obsessed with numbers. I'm afraid that I will use it as a way to justify bad eating or a way to justify eating barely anything at all. This is the way my brain sometimes works:

"Yes, I can eat this 600 calorie cheeseburger for supper, because I burned 600 calories on the treadmill today. So it breaks even, and the rest of the day I was good, so basically this equals to a day eating on plan, without exercise."

or

"I burned 600 calories on the treadmill today, and I only consumed 1100 calories, and my BMR is 1770 calories, so my calorie net for today is 1,370, which means that I should lose EXACTLY 2.74 pounds this week."


These thoughts lead to problems if 1) I lose less than 2.74 pounds that week and I am frustrated because the numbers prove I should have lost more or 2) I lose more than 2.74 pounds and I am frustrated because the numbers prove I should have lost less, and then I get mad because the system should work the way it says its supposed to and the way the numbers add up and how in the world am I supposed to get this weight loss thing right if the freaking science behind it is not making sense????

And obviously, the first thought leads to situations in which I am justifying a cheeseburger or pizza four times a week instead of the one that I normally allow myself.

Hopefully you can see why I think it may be a problem. But the other part of me really would like to know how many calories I am burning during my workouts because I would like to be more self aware and be knowledgeable about as much as I can during this journey.

So I don't know what to do. If there's anyone that reads this, now would be a great time to de-lurk and let me know your opinions/experiences with HRMs. And if you have read this entire post, bless you. Because I am awfully neurotic.

On a happier note, I have stumbled across two more blogs that I love. The first one is Kenz over at All the Weigh. She is incredibly optimistic, motivated, and has an amazing attitude. It took me the better part of two weeks to get through her archives, but I enjoyed every minute. Plus she has really good taste in shoes.

And through Kenz, I found Man Meets Scale. David Kirchhoff is the CEO of Weight Watchers International. I really like his blog because it is in incredibly funny and interesting, but also because it is nice to know that the CEO of the company is a Weight Watcher himself who has lost weight on the system and keeps it off. It’s also incredibly refreshing to hear about weight loss from a man’s point of view. And you don't have to be a Weight Watcher to enjoy his blog. I am not one (although I am currently in the midst of a three month online membership that I may or may not have purchased during an Ambien induced online shopping spree one night), and I love it as much as the next person.

I highly recommend you check out both of these.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Just for the record

This stuff is not allowed in my house anymore. It is so good. Too good. And also good for you. However, it is not good for you to eat an entire box in about 3 days. So I can't buy it anymore. Which is a shame, because it tastes like the healthy girl's Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Bye, bye, Caramel Delight.

Hello, Biore......

This is a self portrait of Madeline and I at the egg hunt yesterday....I think its time for a pore strip.

Yikes.

I'm feeling a little crazy right now.....

because for the first time in about 10 years, I don't own a scale. Granted, up until about a year ago, I never really got on it, but I always owned it. And now I don't have one.

I officially threw my scale away because yesterday I got on and it said I gained 9 pounds. 9 pounds. In 4 days. I definitely did not have the best weekend for weight loss, but I know I did not gain 9 pounds. Like I suspected, that thing was broken.

So now I don't have one. I am planning on buying another one this weekend, and I know that there may be a little fluctuation, but I will not let it freak me out. Especially since I know the past couple of weigh-ins have not been entirely accurate.

It feels weird to know that if I wanted to get on it right now, I couldn't. Because its in my trashcan covered in yogurt right now. Where it deserves to be. Because anything that tells me I gained 9 pounds in 4 days deserves to be trashed.

Yuck

So I jumped out of bed this morning, all excited for my weigh in. I've been totally on point this week and I knew it.

And I lost 6 ounces.

6. freaking. ounces. I could lose 6 ounces by shaving my legs.

I don't know why this happened. In general, my body always follows weight loss rules. I do the work, I get results. I don't do the work, no results. Which means none of those weigh ins where you magically lose 5 pounds and you have no clue why. However, it also means that if I follow all the rules, I can always bank on at least a 2 pound loss per week. At least. This was not so this morning. I have worked out everyday for the past week for at least an hour, and stayed within my calorie range.

I still have 10 days until my TOM, I haven't eaten anything very salty or sodiumy (yes, I just made that word up), so I can't fathom what's going on.

I kind of think my scale's broken. I know you are probably thinking "Yeah, Sarah, whatever.", but I really kind of think it is. I've had it for literally 7 years, and the other day I accidentally dropped it on the hardwood floors. I also probably move it around too much. If my clothes weren't so much looser, and I didn't actually look thinner, I wouldn't think this. But I do, so I'm thinking I'm going to have to invest in a new scale.

I don't seem to be the only one having this problem. And there's nothing we can do. We can't give up, so I guess we just have to Keep on Keepin' On...

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Just because....

This is a picture of my niece, Grace, while we were singing Happy Birthday at her party on Saturday. She brings a smile to my face every time I see her, so hopefully she'll bring one to yours. I literally could not love this child more than I do, and I cannot believe that she is already 6 years old!!!

Sorry, Miss O

I love, love, love me some Oprah. Although I don't always agree with all her opinions on politics, religion, etc, etc, I really do think she is a wonderful example of someone who has worked hard and truly uses her fame & fortune to change the lives of other people. Plus, there's something about the sound of her voice that is extremely comforting to me.

And since I work from home, I am generally able to watch her show every day. Which I love. But yesterday, Oprah brought me the first true NSV I feel like I've had in a long time.

I'm sure everyone has probably heard about Oprah's "No Phone Zone" campaign. Basically its about no texting or talking on your phone while you're in the car driving. And what started this campaign was a show she did about people who were killed by a driver who was texting. I am guilty of this sometimes, but lately I have been making myself put the phone down if I catch myself doing it. It is so true that you take your eyes off the road for 75% of the time you are texting. I'm really trying to make a point not to do this anymore.

However, for whatever reason, I missed the first airing of the show that started it all. And they were rerunning it for Oprah's show yesterday. Last week I saw the commercial and wrote myself a note to make sure and watch Oprah on Tuesday.

Well, yesterday rolled around. Work literally exploded in my face and I was busy all day. The next thing I knew, I looked up at the clock and it was 3:45. Oprah was about to come on. I had not worked out yet. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

Yes, dear people, I skipped Oprah and worked out instead. Even though I really, really wanted to see that show. I wanted to see what inspired her to feel so passionately about this subject. But I didn't. I didn't see the show because I made the decision to work out instead.

After a few weeks of going through the motions to get back into my healthy lifestyle, I finally feel like my mentality has caught up. I am no longer just going through the motions. I worked out because I knew that if I didn't do it right then, I wouldn't do it. And I knew that I would feel much better last night if I had worked out. And you know what? I'm pretty sure Oprah would rather me have gotten my work out in instead of watching her show.

I've also noticed again how much daily exercise just naturally cuts my appetite. I haven't had that "I want to eat everything and anything regardless of my hunger level" feeling in a while. However, I did indulge in a little too much pizza and birthday cake at my niece's 6th birthday party on Saturday. But that's been it this week and I'm looking forward to my weigh in on Friday.

I'll let you know how it goes. I'm expecting good things.